Loss

A lot has happened this year and we're only 20 days in. But it gives me a lot to write about. It's already been 10 days since my aunt passed away. We haven't been that close since I've been an adult. But man as a kid and teen we were. I recently realized she was only 6 years older than me. I remember her playing barbies at my grandmas house with my sister and I in her pink feather duster painted room. Which by the way, I helped paint. I remember riding bikes with her. I remember when she moved out going over there. I remember going to the Pop Stop for beef jerky, Doritos, a pickle, and Mt. Dew. I have so many great memories with her. I will always cherish those. With loss there always comes those feelings of things we wish we could have done. I wish I would have been there more for her. To better understand her story, her struggles. Maybe it would have changed things, maybe she wouldn't be gone. I wish I would have told her I loved her more and that I was proud of the woman she had become, despite the struggles she went through. We all go through struggles. I'm proud that she used her struggling experiences to help others who were struggling in similar ways. She touched so many people and seeing all of them at her funeral really made me think of the impact she had on the community she lived in. I can only hope to help others like she did.

Losing someone is a pivotal moment in the living friends and families lives. We each have a choice to make. We can take the loss and grief and let it eat us alive. Or we can take this as an opportunity to do better. I'm currently making a conscience effort to do better. It touched my heart that Aunt Shelly had helped so many people. It made me reflect on my life. One of the reasons I've finally decided to start this blog.

My heart goes out to her daughter and son who lost their mom too soon. And her grand-kids who she loved so much. But I know she is with my grandma now. All her pain is gone and she will always be loved and never be forgotten.